Here’s a short list of stressful things that happened in my personal life while I was writing my books:
Parenting a toddler
My aunt died suddenly
Cared for my father-in-law through the late stages of a terminal chronic illness
Bought a new house
Started my business
My house got broken into on Christmas
My godfather died
I’ve often been tempted to put off starting new writing projects until life calms down. It’s hard to write when you’re distracted by life’s more painful moments, especially when it seems like all resources need to be focused on basic survival.
I’ve found myself in another such moment this week. My mom has been in the hospital with a serious but treatable condition and I’m taking care of my dad. I’m tired and scared and overwhelmed. I wanted to skip this week’s newsletter because I felt like I didn’t have anything to say. But the best way out is always through, so I’ll write.
This is one of those writer’s secrets—pain is good for us because we trade in uniquely human experiences. Even nonfiction writers need to know how to navigate a narrative, so the conflict of stress can be a powerful creative tool. Of course, chronic stress and unproductive coping mechanisms are detrimental, but if you can see stress for its potential to help your writing instead of a distraction I think you’ll ultimately be happy that you pressed on.
Some days (or weeks) may feel impossible. Can you be brave and try anyway? You may not write. You may not be able to do much of anything. It’s okay. Be gentle with yourself if you don’t quite reach your goals and remember that this will all make a great story someday.
Love and letters,
Kate